"Performing" on a Stage of My Own Making

There is always a reward for hard work. Sometimes you don't receive it right away and other times it's waiting for you at the end of a long sleepless night. I waited about a week after that sleepless night before I got a happy, yet unexpected phone call from Ottawa.

Weeks and weeks of worry for that one phone call seem in retrospect very silly. Isn't it funny how I know I am an intelligent, capable individual and yet I am still wracked with self-doubt when faced by a performace-based challenge? My persistent and inherently flawed worldview puts too much emphasis on achievement and doing things. Frustration and tears almost always preceed the "performance." I never questioned how important performing well or achieving really was; I just accepted it as necessary to be a worthwhile human being. What a backward teaching.

I am beginning to live by a new set of standards - not those of the world, but God's. I am inherently valuable no matter what I can do. And it may seem contradictory, but with God, I can do anything.